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SAD: Money Issues & Paycheck Deductions.

I’ve just made myself sad while talking to my co-worker regarding the newest deductions being taken from my paycheck for the new year. I was well aware insurance was going to take out more, but I was blind-sided when an extra $172 was being taken out from taxes (federal, state, medicare & social security). Overall – I am losing an extra $277 PER CHECK coming in to this new year. So … whatever I was making last year, subtract 277 and that is my new net income. One check alone would not cover rent. Which is sad. It is my fault since I added my boyfriend on to my insurance as a “domestic partner” (since we aren’t married) – yet, I wish there was a warning that by adding him I would in turn be taxed on his portion of the premium. My boyfriend is paying the difference for insurance costs, but not the difference in taxes because well, we both had no idea. Well – he still doesn’t know by adding him has caused my taxes to raise.

At first I didn’t say much, because what’s the point? It is what it is – what else can I do. Well, I could work and hope for a raise in my salary at work – which is what I’ve done. I tried my best to write a phenomenal annual review, in hopes that it’ll get me a significant raise – since that’ll be my shot at getting one. But I know I can’t keep my hopes high on counting on that because it could very well NOT happen. And I won’t find out anything until my review with my boss – which won’t happen until March (or maybe later).

I do have my fingers crossed regarding my boyfriend’s latest success! He scored an interview with a full time position at Delta … It’s a big deal! He won’t hear anything until next week, possibly the week after that, but I really hope this pulls through for him. He deserves it!

Hmm … what else? Can’t wait for tax refund time, that’ll help bring some relief to my financial issues. Just hope I can get a raise – that would help bring a more permeant relief! I hate worrying about money. My lease for my apartment is up in February. I’ve told myself I plan to stay put until I get married & my next move is into a house. But after last night’s event of the sprinkler head’s pipe bursting and flooding my son’s closet – I am reconsidering staying. Although, a pipe bursting could honestly happen anywhere – so who knows, might save myself the hassle of packing an entire apartment up (AGAIN) & stick to staying put. I just know rent will possibly rise to over $800 – which is what I was trying to stay UNDER. Oh well, woe is me. Moving somewhere new would mean I would have to find somewhere nicer than where I reside now, and I have to admit, my apartment is pretty nice. It’s not perfect by any means – but my complaints are the typical apartment life complaints, nothing major. A nicer place means a higher rent – and on my own I cannot pay more than what I pay now. Kinda wish my boyfriend would go in with me on a place – but as he always says: “I don’t believe in living together before marriage.” Which is a great belief to have, but I want more! I shall have to wait for marriage 😉

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Happy New Year

I have given up on new YEAR resolutions, but I fully believe in the opportunities to better yourself! That is why instead of a resolution that forces me to create a helpful, yet unfamiliar habit – I have decided to make a one month resolution!

This month’s resolution is to drink NOTHING but water for the entire month! So far so good, but it is also only day 4 of the new year, but I feel pretty confident this is a very obtainable goal.

Next month: exercise! A breakdown of February’s resolution to come 😊

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To My Ex: I Thank You

As I sit here, eating my delicious soup I made the night before – I think about how spicy it is, and how the spiciness must come from the Rotel. I wondered if all Rotel varieties were spicy – and I knew one person who might know – my son’s father: my ex. The reason he is the first person who comes to mind when I think about Rotel is because when I met him, that was the first time I had ever heard of Rotel. He liked to cook – and he is pretty good at it. The first meal he ever cooked for me (and his friend) was chicken Rotel. It was very tasty, but also quite spicy! And I was told it was because of the Rotel.

Looking back, I remember he was always the main one to cook our dinner just about every night (on the nights he was home, that is). I’d get my one or two nights of cooking one of the few meals that was familiar to me – so I wouldn’t mess it up. I used to always mess up spaghetti, it always came out bland. I even messed up a salad once. Since then, he always took over in the kitchen.

We never had the best relationship – it wasn’t the worst, but we definitely weren’t meant to be together. For some reason, we’d always find ourself back together, “trying to make it work”. It’s not uncommon for most people to have that one, unhealthy relationship that you’re stuck in – going round and round in a vicious circle of make-up’s and break-up’s. His talent for cooking was one of the reasons I stayed with him. Now I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. I was never that great of a cook, and there were only a handful of meals I could cook on my own – that didn’t taste completely awful. My ex provided me great tasting dinners, night after night. 

It’s now been over a year since we broke up, the longest we have ever stayed apart before making up. I know this is truly the last time –  we will never get back together. The reason I am writing this is because – years ago, I was a poor excuse of a cook with him – and now, without him, I am an awesome cook 🙂  I have grown so much more being without him, than I ever did with him. Today, I am the most awesome person I can be and I am also with the most awesome person I could ever be with. I am thankful for that. I thank my ex for helping me to grow without him. Charles Willis, II – I love you so much!

So I thank you
Said I thank you

Yes I thank you

For making me a woman

Read more: ESTELLE – THANK YOU LYRICS

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Round of a Applause

I need to take the time to call out the fact that I have an amazing boyfriend.

He puts me first, and makes time for me – all the time 🙂

This past weekend he was invited out with some friends – and while he wanted me to go with him, I couldn’t because I had no babysitter…so he didn’t go either.

There was a time where I had a boyfriend who would leave me at the drop of a dime to go out with friends – and leave me with our son at home. I was never invited out with him, and he never even thought to take me. He would always go out with them.

So to finally have a man, who chooses to stay in with me because I can’t go – because of a child that isn’t even his means the world to me. There truly are good men out there – and there won’t be a moment that goes by that I recognize it.

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I Do It All…

Before I start, I usually don’t like to talk about my “single mother issues” but,  I feel like I need to vent – I am currently having a “FML” moment 😦

I guess I spoke too soon when I said my life is pretty “stree-free” – which, in all aspects it is, except when it comes to money.

I do it all for my son. I went to college. I graduated. I got a job. I have benefits. My son has health insurance. He’s in a good daycare. He has a roof over his head in our own home together. He eats well everyday. He has all the toys, movies, clothes, shoes… anything he could ever want or need (without going beyond the point of being spoiled). I take him to the doctor when he’s sick, I buy the medicines he needs to get better. And above all, I pay for everything – everything. And I do whatever I can to make sure I am able to pay for everything he needs.

I do get help from his father’s side of the family: $150 a month.
Daycare is $155 per week.
And that is all I am going to say about that.

But in all honesty – venting, complaining or even talking about this situation means nothing, because it won’t change anything. It brings me to tears of frustration that I have all these things to handle physically & financially for my son & I have to find some way to afford it because I am the only one who is worried about being able to afford it. Because if I can’t pay whatever bill that needs to be paid on behalf of our son it lands on me. So, why should he care to help out with a bill or financial responsibility that won’t have any consequence to him anyway? Why should he get a job to help afford all the things his son needs?

I am trying my hardest to not “dog him out” – but I’ll say this, being a daddy doesn’t make you a father. I have to stay strong for my son even when I feel like breaking down.

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Fresh Start, New Beginning

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve started this blog. I can’t believe I’ve kept this blog for this long! A lot has changed since I started – I’ve blogged about the good & the bad I’ve experienced…continuing to grow from each entry.

A year ago I was with my son’s father – trying to make it work… but – in the end, some people just are not meant to be together, even if they did create a life together. But I will say, where I am at today is a good place, a very good place. I am happy. Extremely happy! My life is drama-free, stress-free (that is, when my 2 year old toddler isn’t driving my up the wall! haha), I’m working my baby clothes line again, & everyone around me is in good health.

I was also very lucky to have met a very awesome man on a boat at an old high school friend’s wedding reception 3 months ago – and I am proud to say I am now his girlfriend 🙂 I’ve been in relationships before, and I know this is going to sound cliche but, this one is definitely different from the rest. First of all, he isn’t a jerk, he’s genuinely a nice guy! And I love it, I love having a guy in my life who’s nice to me, someone who’s good to me – and does nice, small gestures that shows he cares. He’s into me, spends time with me, and likes to go out with me! (WHAAAAT!?!) He’s also great with my son, which means everything to me. He’s really making a special place in mine & Kaison’s lives. I never knew this type of guy existed, and I’m happier than ever that I’ve been able to find him. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself – or gush like crazy about all the amazing things about him – so I’ll just leave this short & sweet 🙂

Besides, I think it’s pretty obvious that I think he’s a freakin’ phenomenal human being who makes me extremely stinkin’ happy everyday! Love you guys & I love my life!